And you carry this burden alone
But this candle's burned at both ends for so long – 3 Doors Down, The Silence Remains
Your prison is walking through this world all alone - The Eagles, Desperado
Starscream gazed out onto the open plains of the world he'd arrived on just a few orns before.
Not a bad place, he thought idly. The geology seemed stable, there were good sources of energon, and from what he could tell, there were no native sentients on this world. There were organics, but they seemed to be the local fauna more than anything else.
Of course, he'd have to do a more thorough search, but he'd done a few circles of the planet in his alt-mode, and had seen nothing negative visually. It looked good.
Good enough for Cybertronian refugees, anyway, he thought grimly, and a bitter smile twisted his face.
Not for me.
Never for me.
A deep gust of air was released from his intakes at the thought, and he moved to sit down on the ledge.
Thirty thousand vorns had passed since the orn he'd left Cybertron's orbit.
Thirty thousand vorns of being told to move on from one place to the next, he thought with a tinge of bitterness. Very shortly after he'd arrived at that space station, he'd heard that the Galactic Council was sending an investigative team to Cybertron to observe what was happening. The next thing he'd heard was that even after they'd given their identities to the Iaconian ship yard and explained why they'd come, they'd been accused of being spies and fired upon.
Starscream had been admittedly worried when he'd learned that. It hadn't taken him long to figure out that the Senate was doing everything in their power to prevent word of what was happening on the planet from reaching the universe at large. He wasn't sure of their motives, but he suspected that they knew full well they were losing control and were trying to keep that from getting out. Unfortunately, all their actions did was prove the opposite.
And it hadn't taken more than five hundred vorns before the Galactic Council figured that one out, too, and removed Cybertron from its charter of member worlds. In effect, this removed the planet from their protection and anyone who wanted was free to invade it.
Starscream grimaced as he recalled what followed.
Shortly after the word got out about that, he'd begun to find it more difficult to find work doing scouting and exploration missions for other worlds. It had started small, with some planets reducing the amounts they'd promised, once they'd found out he was Cybertronian. As time went on, he was refused, even after he tried to say that he would accept whatever they were willing to pay him. As far as the governments of those worlds were concerned, it didn't matter if he'd been away from Cybertron since before the war started. It only mattered to him that he was Cybertronian and as far as they were concerned, was a threat to their world.
That his motives were innocent didn't matter. That he had nothing to do with what happened didn't matter.
Then the news got worse.
Fifteen hundred vorns after he'd learned of Vos, the first refugees started coming out from Cybertron. Seekers no less. And what they said was not pleasant. For the first time, he'd learned that half of his home city had been destroyed, and a quarter of the population had been killed. The reason? The Senate had learned that half of Vos supported the Kaonite gladiator (who he learned was called Megatron), so decided to try and prevent them from joining a group that was coming into existence around the mech, a group called Decepticons.
It had failed miserably. Half of the surviving population, many of whom had not supported this "Megatron", had ended up joining the Decepticons. Those who wouldn't join had been threatened, and appealing to the Senate had done no good. So they'd hidden for a time until no one was looking for them anymore and then had fled the planet. They'd gone to the Galactic Council first, but were refused help. However, they did take the information that the Seekers were able to give them.
Information that Starscream had learned when he'd gone to seek out those refugees. Some had not been happy to see him when he'd finally come across them, thinking him a coward for not being there when Vos had been attacked. A handful of those had been mollified when they'd learned he'd tried to come home only to be turned away.
They'd confirmed for him what he'd heard the rumors say, and added more: The Senate and Sentinel Prime had been murdered a few hundred vorns before, and the whole planet was choosing sides. While there were Neutral city-states, they were being pressured to join either the Decepticons or the new faction that had formed to fight them, the leader of the Seeker refugees, Steelwind, had told him. He called them Autobots. Unfortunately, he was unable to tell Starscream what had happened to his kin or flightmates. Whether they were dead or in the Decepticons, he didn't know.
In exchange for the information, Starscream had helped them find a planet to live on. One where there was no sentient population and where they would have energon and many places to live above the ground.
He still went back from time to time to check on them and take them any news he could pick up. Or provide them with supplies when he was able.
At least they were safe, as were other refugees that he'd brought to join the Seekers over the hundreds of vorns that followed. Not to mention those who'd he'd escorted to other worlds he'd been able to find that fit their parameters in exchange for information from home. Most had been startled to learn about how hated Cybertron had become, and many hadn't wanted to believe it.
The most surreal encounter had been with some Altihex refugees. Starscream chuckled ironically. Who'd have thought he'd have run into any of Skyfire's clan? And make peace with those members, no less?
Where Skyfire's kin was concerned, he'd learned that some had joined the Decepticons while others had stayed behind at Altihex when a number of the clan had left Cybertron. He'd asked about Jetfire and Lunarion and had been told that Jetfire was still alive, but Lunarion had joined the Decepticons, as had several other of the younger members of the clan. Jetfire had pulled strings to get those of his clan that wanted to go off the planet when the suggestion was made by the Emirate of Altihex that it would be advisable to leave, in case the Decepticons attacked.
Over time, the more he'd learned, the more he'd become sickened. Vos...Tarn...Tygar Pax...Praxus...Crystal City...Simfur...Altihex and all the other smaller city-states that had fallen victim to the war...
The worst had been Crystal City and Altihex, he pondered grimly. Altihex mainly for Skyfire's sake, and Crystal City for his friends' sake. He'd been numb when he'd heard about that city going down about ten thousand vorns back. His colleagues and friends had been there, and he'd heard there were few survivors from either city-state. He could only hope that Perceptor, Wheeljack, Cosmos and Jetfire had somehow survived.
His hands clenched into fists as he thought all this over. From everything he'd heard, Cybertron was at least half-leveled, if not more. And for what? It might have started as an attempt to throw out a corrupt system, but it sure as Pit hadn't stayed that way. And the Autobots were no better, since they weren't taking steps to stop the war at all from what he'd heard.
When he'd learned of the new Prime, one called Optimus, had become the leader of the Autobots, the jet had hoped the war would be ended quickly. He'd heard that the mech didn't seem to have any of the prejudices of the upper castes and in fact had come from a middle or lower caste.
But neither side seemed interested in coming to an agreement, and so it had continued, the Galactic Council placing new interdicts on Cybertron, and he'd been able to find less and less work, while Cybertronian refugees just kept wandering. Most had found homes, but some were still wandering out there...
Speaking of that, he needed to finish scouting and surveying this world. There was another refugee ship looking for a home, this one composed of minibots and racers, and this would be perfect if he could confirm the conditions of the planet.
He stood up, and gazed out at the landscape again.
"Why don't you join us?"
That was what Starscream had been asked by this group. He gave a small, rueful chuckle. It wasn't the first time he'd heard the question. The Seekers had asked him that when he'd helped them. So had so many other of the group leaders he'd assisted over the thousands of vorns.
And to be honest, he'd tried, feeling it would be nice to be living among Cybertronians again. Ground- or flight-based, it didn't matter. There were times that living on that ship got wearing, that the treatment meted out to him by so fragging many of the planetary goverments grew beyond irksome...He truly enjoyed the notion of having company again.
But it had never lasted for very long. He would stay with the new colonies long enough to help them become established, but then the sights of other couples, other family units, would cause his Spark to bother him, and he would make his excuses and leave. After the first few groups, he'd started politely declining the offers. Oh, he'd go back and assist these groups when he could, just as he had the Seekers, and bring them what news he picked up from space stations and the few remaining planets where Cybertronians were welcome. But staying? No.
"Running away doesn't heal a broken Spark."
Once more, a bitter smile crossed the jet's features. Jetfire had been right. It had just taken him too long to realize that.
Skyfire...
More and more, as the universe started closing off to him, the more he'd missed his Conjunx's presence. Exploration was no longer filling the void, and neither was the company of others.
And he was so fragging tired of being on the move all the time.
The tri-color didn't even know why he was running anymore.
It had seemed so simple when he left Cybertron. Now...
Now he realized he'd been fooling himself. He hoped he would one day see the elder Valkyrie again, just to tell him he finally understood what the other mech had meant.
Nothing was going to bring Skyfire back, no matter what he did. But he couldn't go back to Cybertron, though to be honest, after all he'd heard, he no longer wanted to. He had no desire to be caught up in that war which had destroyed his home, scattering their people, killing those who'd remained behind. Forcing those who didn't want to fight to choose sides.
Turning their surviving race into the universe's pariahs.
Where to go, though? He couldn't deal with being around others for very long, and most worlds with sentient races were very far from welcoming. Not many really wanted to deal with Cybertronians any more. Even the worlds that did were wary.
Starscream went over the list of the remaining uninhabited worlds he knew, ones that had little to no sentient life and yet contained good sources of energon. After eliminating all the places he had taken the exiles to, there were very few left on that list.
And one of them was...
No.
Starscream shook his head. He couldn't go back there. Not to that world.
Or could he?
As the Seeker pondered, he received a ping from his ship's console. The Cybertronians he was currently helping were trying to send a communication. Starscream supposed they were becoming a bit worried by the lack of message from him, good or otherwise.
The jet forced the unwelcome thoughts back, cast a final look over the plains and headed back to his ship. He would do the deeper scans from orbit, but he would send them the report regarding his initial findings before doing so. Along with preparing another polite denial to the invitation.
After which, he would send the the more comprehensive results to them, as well as his recommendations. But he was sure that the results of those scans would support the initial ones.
He would consider the options of where he would go later.
After all, there had to be better options than Galaxy C-29A321, World 7 for him to live.