"And the night's the hardest time
when the doubts run through your mind." - LeeAnn Rimes, Suddenly

Starscream gazed around the nearly empty apartment. The shelves and walls were empty of personal effects. Most of the remaining furniture was covered. He'd just finished terminating the lease with the landlord of the building. Just a few crates were to be found against the walls. Those would be transported out to the ship in the next morning cycle.

Seems like everything is finally set for me to leave.

He ran a hand over one of the pieces of covered furniture and hesitated. This is really happening. I'm really doing this.

The tri-color jet shuddered. He'd been planning this for several orns now. He'd resigned, bought the ship, packed everything, said his goodbyes...But now that the moment had finally come, he found himself wondering if this was the right course of action after all.

He shook his head. No. No, this is the right thing to do.

And yet...

He recalled the orn that Perceptor and he had joined Wheeljack and Cosmos at the energon bar. Cosmos had looked a little beaten up from his crash (though Starscream thought he saw a few dents to the helm from what appeared to be a wrench, but Cosmos wouldn't talk about that) but had seemed in otherwise good spirits. He'd looked a bit surprised to see Starscream there without Skyfire, and had been stunned to learn what had happened. He'd seemed uncertain of what to say, but Wheeljack had quickly changed the subject to an experiment of his that he was working on, an attempt of his to create a synthetic form of energon. Perceptor had replied by saying that he would try it, if he could be assured that he wouldn't explode after drinking it. Wheeljack had developed an affronted look at that, while both the jet and mini chuckled. It was a joor or two before Starscream had felt ready to tell Wheeljack and Cosomos about his decision and resignation...

"But why would you do that? Your career..." Wheeljack's voice trailed off in shock. He couldn't believe what he was hearing.

"Is nothing without Skyfire to share it," Starscream finished tiredly. He continued, "I've already put your name in to be a candidate for Celsion's aide in my place." When Wheeljack opened his mouth to say something else, Starscream just shook his head. "Jack, just don't. Please don't. I've made my decision."

Wheeljack just shut his mouth and shook his head in disbelief. Cosmos, for his own part, was startled. No sooner does he get home, then he finds out that one of his best friends is missing, possibly deactivated, and now another was just going to disappear into space? It wasn't the kind of return he was expecting. But somehow, he couldn't find himself too surprised that Starscream was doing this. The other flier didn't form too many attachments, but he when he did form one, he took the loss hard if something happened to whoever it was. As much as he wanted to, the mini spacecraft wasn't sure there was anything he could say to make his friend change his mind. Starscream's stubborness when he set his mind on something was well-known at the Academy.

Still, it did make for one Pit of a homecoming, he reflected.

At this point, Perceptor finally spoke up. "At least he told us before he left. Would you prefer he'd just left without saying anything at all, Wheeljack?" There was no point in mentioning that Starscream had seemed to be planning on doing just that before Perceptor had "convinced" him to come to the bar. It would just create the hurt feelings that Perceptor was trying to prevent from forming.

Wheeljack just stared morosely into his drink. "No," he finally said glumly.

Perceptor nodded. Their chat continued, but became a bit more subdued after that, and broke up about half a joor later.

Starscream walked over to the window and gazed out onto the busy streets below as he pondered that evening cycle. They hadn't been able to get together again, and Cosmos was sent off on yet another mission a few day cycles later, but not before giving the Seeker his goodbyes and good wishes, along with a crystal he'd found in the Zeta system. And the day cycle after that, Wheeljack had brought over copies of a few holos of he and Skyfire and the rest of the group, along with copies some of the latest scientific journals. Perceptor had stopped by too, to wish him luck, and say that he would consider talking to Beachcomber. Neither of them would be able to come see him off, due to their duties. This hurt a bit, but at least there would be no hard feelings left behind.

The jet couldn't deny he was worried, though. With the energon shortage and talk of rebellion, he wondered if they would be all right. None of them were war-builds and if fighting did break out, they would be at serious risk.

He turned his gaze to the sky. Am I doing the right thing by leaving? He knew Percy was right, that Skyfire would want him to stay at the Academy, memories or no. Further, Percy was also right that he had been on the inside track to getting a seat on the Council one day, along with Skyfire. It had been their dream, and he was walking away from it.

Was it really worth it? Was he really just acting out of grief?

A buzzing sound at the door distracted him from his musings. Who could that be? He hadn't been expecting anyone until the transport mechs came in the morning cycle.

He activated the door comm. "Who's there? I have a few things to finish up, so state your name and business immediately."

An older sounding voice snorted and replied, "You're a rude young whippersnapper. That's the problem with this planet. No respect for one's elders nowadays."

Starscream bristled. "I don't have time for this. If you're not going to give your name, then go. I have better things to do."

The mech on the other side of the comm. spoke again, this time sounding nearly as irritated as Starscream. "See here, you insolent brat! I didn't come here after talking to Lunarion just to be treated like scrap! Now are you going to open the door, or will I have to come in through that balcony I saw as I flew in? And don't think I won't! Even Skyfire knew better than to argue with me!"

Starscream jolted at hearing Lunarion and Skyfire's designations spoken by the visitor. Wary now, he asked, "How do you know those designations?"

He could almost hear the smirk in the reply: "Wouldn't you like to know?"

Starscream hesitated for just a moment, torn between curiosity to know how this mech knew what he did and caution. Curiosity won out, and he coded the door open.

Then stepped back almost immediately at the sight of the mech in the doorway.

The mech was a shuttle type. That much was clear from his frame, with the broad wings extending from his back. Black as a starless night sky, he stood as tall as Skyfire and was nearly as broad. It was clear from his somewhat bent shape that he was very aged for their race. He held what Starscream thought might be a cane, but had an odd shape to it. The mech's optics burned scarlet as he glared at Starscream.

The jet frowned. He was sure he'd never seen this mech in his life, yet his appearance seemed familiar somehow...

"So you going to invite me in, or should I invite myself, brat?" Not waiting for a reply, the shuttle mech walked in, pushing his way past Starscream, and parking himself on one of the covered chairs. Glancing around the room, he commented, "Not a bad place you have here. Kind of empty, but I'm sure that'll be dealt with in time."

Starscream scowled. "Who the fragging Pit are you and what do you want?"

The mech in front of him only chuckled. "Now, is that the way you normally talk to your guests?"

"Only the ones who barge in," the tetrajet snapped back as he coded the door shut, then walked over and sat himself down across from the shuttle.

The mech shrugged. "Needed to get your attention somehow. This seemed the best way to do it."

Starscream just stared at him with a mixture of incredulity and annoyance. He shook his head after a moment. "You are out of your processor."

"So Lunarion tells me sometimes," was the amused reply. Then a serious expression replaced the amused one. "Anyway, the designation's Jetfire."

Starscream froze. Now he knew why this mech seemed familiar. Skyfire had often spoken of his Sire's own Sire, a mech he referred to as Jetfire, and had described his appearance to him once. He'd also told him of how Jetfire had fought in the First Great War, and had had a reputation of being a formidable warrior back then, and had taught other younglings how to fight at the Academy in Altihex. Skyfire had had great respect for the old mech, whose ability had stayed strong even as he aged. And I insulted him. Suddenly he was very nervous.

Jetfire once more seemed slightly amused by Starscream's reaction, but he waved it off. "Believe it or not, I didn't come here to make trouble for you, youngling."

Starscream felt a twinge of exasperation replace the nervousness. "I am not a youngling!"

Jetfire smirked. "Compared to me, you are. But that's neither here nor there. I came because Lunarion approached me. Told me that Skyfire's partner was leaving, and that if I wanted to meet with you, I should go in the next orn or two." He glanced around once more. "However, I see that I did cut it close."

Starscream felt the twinge in his Spark again and looked away. "And why would one of Skyfire's clan wish to meet with me? I have not been welcome among them since they learned Skyfire and I shared a berth." Having a Seeker for an exploration partner was one thing (even if barely tolerable), but a lover...Well that was something else entirely for them, apparently.

Jetfire was once more serious. "Skyfire was always his own mech. Had a mind of his own, and didn't like being constrained by the edicts of his clan." A half-smile. "Reminded me often of myself when I was young. I always knew he wasn't going to be interested in anyone who couldn't challenge him. Wouldn't have thought he'd choose a Seeker, but somehow, I wasn't surprised to learn he did."

He leaned back. "Came to visit me before that last mission of his." Starscream looked up in surprise. Shortly before leaving Cybertron, Skyfire had mentioned he wanted to say his goodbyes to his clan. This was something Starscream had found odd at the time, since Skyfire hadn't done it since the issues about being with the jet had started, but didn't question it.

"He did?" the jet whispered.

The shuttle nodded. "Wanted to ask me for my blessing. Planned on bonding with you, and knew how well it would go over with most of his other kin. Knew they'd keep their mouths shut for the most part if it was known that I supported him."

"I see," Starscream replied softly, looking down again.

"No need to be wary of me, young mech. I have no issues with you. Won't deny I heard a bit from Skyfire's Creators, not to mention my other Creations and most of theirs. While much of it wasn't complimentary, I'm not blind to the snobbery that exists between flier types. Been around a long time. Most Seekers haven't done interstellar travel since the Great War, much less bother to get the upgrades to do so anymore, and I know shuttles have been pretty proud of their ability to go where most other fliers can't. Thinks that makes them better than any other flier, which is ridiculous. We all have wings."

Jetfire snorted and leaned forward in his seat. "But I didn't come here just to subject you to my opinions on my snobbish kin."

Starscream felt a bit bemused by Jetfire's speech. "May I ask then, why you did come? Sir?" he asked tentatively.

Jetfire nodded. "Straight to the point. Bit impatient though, I was going to get to that."

He shifted in his seat, leaning forward on his cane. "So Skyfire came to ask my blessing for his bonding. Like I said, heard a bit about you from others of my clan that wasn't friendly. Said you were rude, brash, arrogant, hot-tempered...you get the picture. Lot of mechs are like that though, with or without wings. And I know Skyfire was nobody's fool. He wasn't going to just go for a pretty face. So I figured there had to be something he saw that no one else did. When I questioned him, he did admit the hot temper along with a few other things, but said you made him think outside the box about some of his projects, figure out ways to do them that he wouldn't have thought of by himself. Said he could talk to you, that you always found ways to surprise him and make him smile."

Jetfire shook his head. "Went on in that vein for a while. Don't know if he was exaggerating some of it or not, but it was clear to me by the end that he'd have no one else. You made him happy, and that's all I would ask for any of my descendants." He looked Starscream in the optics. "I gave him my blessing. Told him too that he'd have to bring you to introduce to me when you both returned. He promised he would."

Starscream just stared, unable to believe what he'd heard. "I...Thank you, sir."

Jetfire threw back his head and laughed. "Enough with the 'sir', young Seeker. You can call me by my designation." After he'd finished laughing, he grew serious once more. "You know most of my clan is angry about what happened. No, they don't blame you for it. Skyfire's not the first shuttle to go down in a storm of some kind. But they do think you a coward for leaving."

Starscream became defensive. "If they think my choice was so easy, then let them come say that to my face! I didn't make that decision lightly! I've given up my career, leaving my friends and home behind for Primus knows how long! I..." His voice trailed off.

Jetfire raised his hand. "Let me finish. I won't say I approve of your going, either. Running away doesn't heal a broken Spark. I learned that the hard way a long time ago. That said, since I have experienced it, I do understand the desire to leave for a while to find oneself. Not to mention, I do hear things. The news out of Kaon and Vos worries me. May well be you'll be safest away from here for a while. Skyfire would want that for you, I know.

"I don't approve, but I won't stop you, either, Starscream. Go with my blessing, and may the winds guide you back safely when you find what you seek."

He reached into his subspace, and rifled around a moment, then pulled out a framed image and a holocube. "Here. These are for you."

Starscream, puzzled, took the proferred items. The first made his optics widen. At the top was the image of two crossed shuttles superimposed over a moon, with a flame rising behind that. Just below was a listing of the members of Skyfire's clan, starting with Jetfire. Starscream's own designation was listed alongside Skyfire's. His intakes stilled a moment as he saw it. He looked up at Jetfire.

The shuttle shrugged. "You were going to be a member of my clan. Whether the others like it or not, I choose to acknowledge it. When you return, come to Altihex and look me up."

Starscream nodded, and looked at the other item, the holocube. On it were a number of images of Skyfire both as a Sparkling and youngling. Starscream had never seen these images before. Skyfire had never been willing to show him those pictures. Said they were too embarrassing. A small smile appeared on his face.

"Thank you...Jetfire. These mean a lot."

Jetfire smirked. "Lunarion told me that Skyfire had never shown any Sparkling images of himself to you. Figured you'd want to have those."

Starscream nodded once more, and put both items in his subspace, saying as he did so, "There is a spare room here, if you would like to stay the night."

Jetfire shook his head and rose from his seat. "My old joints appreciate the offer, but there's an old friend of mine here in Crystal City who's letting me stay a couple of day cycles." He looked around again. "Not to mention, it looks like you have things very near packed up and I'd just be in the way when the transports came."

Starscream glanced around and grimaced, silently acknowledging that little detail. He rose to show Jetfire out.

At the door, Jetfire looked at Starscream speculatively. Then he said, "Skyfire thought a lot of you, Starscream. Don't let him down."

Starscream shook his head. "I won't." A bit more impulsively, he continued, "He told me much of you. He had a lot of respect for you. Now, I understand why."

Jetfire smiled widely, pleased by the comment. "Good luck to you, Starscream."

"You as well, Jetfire."

Starscream went back over to the chair and sat down. Pulling out the holocube, he said quietly, "I won't let you down. I promise."

Yes, he still had his doubts, but at least he knew that he had something to come back to. And he would.

That was a promise.