"Show me how to be whole again." - Linkin Park, Castle of Glass

The message was short and to the point:

We wish to inform you that we have received the Senate's decision regarding your request for a search party to determine the fate of Valkyrie class shuttle Skyfire.

While we do understand how this loss has affected you personally, and under normal circumstances, we would certainly be willing to confirm deactivation or survival of the above named mech, the Senate has declined to allow us the requisite ships or energon necessary for such an endeavor. They feel that with supplies as low as they are, it would be a waste of energon to look for a mech who may well be dead. The argument was made that the world where your partner was reported missing has enough documented energon sources to make the search worth the expenditure. However, they refused to reconsider their decision.

When Cybertron has obtained enough energon from the other worlds you and your partner explored, you have our word that we will once again make the request to the Senate for a search and recovery mission.

We extend our condolences for your loss and hope that you will return to the Academy when your leave has ended.

Chief Expedition Councillor Fharen of Crystal City Science Academy

The sound of a low growl broke the silence of the apartment as Starscream finished reading. A moment later, the datapad smashed against a wall, the shattered pieces sliding down to the floor, but the Seeker barely noticed as he slouched over in his seat, crossing his arms in his lap as he did so.

What did you really expect, after all? Wasn't like the Senate has been overly sympathetic to fliers since the Great War ended, he thought bitterly. And what would they care that this particular flier was one of the best scientists Cybertron has ever produced? Oh, there was no doubt the Expedition Council had been sincere in their offers of assistance and sympathy, since both he and Skyfire were well-known to be one of their more successful teams, but in the end, they weren't the ones who made the final decisions on whether or not missions went out. Those decisions were made by the Senate, and the majority were known to have the typical prejudices against fliers in general and war-builds in particular. The search mission had been doomed to failure the moment Starscream had reported the accident and made his request for a search party.

So what now?

Starscream rose from his seat and began pacing the apartment he and Skyfire had shared for just over ten vorns, gaze towards the floor, considering his options.

One thing he knew for certain he couldn't do was try another appeal, as much as that knowledge rankled. The Expedition Council had been willing to make the effort once, due to his and Skyfire's impressive record, but that message had made it clear they would be unwilling to go against the Senate for the time being. If Starscream pushed the matter, he could lose whatever sympathy he had garnered with the Expedtion Council, and it was highly possible they could throw him to the Senate's "mercies", previous reputation be damned. Plus, the Seeker had very few here that he could call friends and those he did have had no links with the Senate or even any political influence.

No, there was no use trying another appeal.

He paused in his pacing as another thought occurred to him. Perhaps...he could check out the rumors he'd heard regarding a rebellion brewing in Kaon. While he'd been recovering after his return to Cybertron, he'd received a communication from an old flying partner from Vos. According to what he said, there was a gladiator in Kaon who was stirring up the crowds there, promising to change the status quo and bring a new and better age to Cybertron.

For someone who'd always hoped to change Cybertron, the notion was a tempting one, and Starscream lingered over the idea for a moment, a small smile appearing as he pictured himself assisting this gladiator in bringing Cybertron to a new era where all were equal and the corruption of the Senate and nobles were wiped out, to be replaced with a ruling body that served the populace and not just themselves.

But at what cost? This thought came unbidden into the Seeker's head, and gave him pause. If there was one thing he'd noticed from his reading up on the Great War, it was that no real change came without some kind of upheaval, and it wasn't likely the Senate would just roll over and allow this gladiator and his followers to take control. Many peaceful attempts to create a change in the past had been cut down ruthlessly, with those that called for it either "disappearing" or being compromised in some other fashion. And with a gladiator taking charge, Starscream couldn't see any such change of the type this mech was proposing being done without some type of energon-shed. It was well-known what types of mechs these gladiators were, after all. They'd earned their violent reputation for good reason.

Starscream wouldn't deny he'd been in a few brawls and fistfights in his time, mostly back in Vos, though he'd been involved in a few early on in his time at the Academy, mostly from those who'd challenged his intelligence.

Then he'd met Skyfire...

Starscream stopped dead in his pacing. Skyfire had a reputation for being a pacifist, though even he would involve himself in a fight if there was something important to him at stake. They'd met during one of the confrontations he'd been in. The larger flier had stepped in to help him when the ten others surrounded and were overwhelming the jet and between the two of them, they'd managed to drive the others off. Starscream remembered grousing at first, saying he'd been handling it just fine, and Skyfire just shaking his head with a small smile. Later, when the Seeker had calmed down, he'd approached Skyfire and asked why he'd helped a mech he didn't even know outside of class, especially considering he was reputed to hate fighting. The shuttle had simply replied that it had been the right thing to do, that some things were worth fighting for. Yes, he did prefer to fight his battles by using his mind, but there were moments when even he would admit that there were those who wouldn't listen to anything but the physical action. Starscream pointed out that that didn't quite answer his question. Skyfire had laughed, but wouldn't reply further. Starscream had been mildly intrigued, and set himself to figuring the shuttle out.

That had been the start of a long friendship, gradually evolving as the vorns went by, growing from friends to partners, and eventually, to lovers. Even now, after so long, Starscream couldn't believe how quickly they'd connected, and how much they'd grown dependent on each other as time went on. It had frightened him at first, as aside from his flight companions, he'd been a loner for the most part, and friendships were difficult for him to make, but he'd soon adjusted and adapted to the situation. It had been Skyfire's influence that had helped him form a few more ties over the vorns...

As if in response to his somber thoughts, his Spark started to ache again, as it had been doing on and off since the accident. A residual effect, the medics had said, of the bond that was cut off while in the early stages of development. Starscream rubbed at the area over it idly, as he once more tried to focus on his options.

The thought of joining the rebellion was still slightly appealing, but Starscream couldn't shake the feeling that the cost would be too high, and he wasn't sure he wanted to face Skyfire in the Matrix knowing how he felt about needless death and destruction. Knowing...how disappointed he would be in him.

Could he do that?

But what else was there, really?

He could go back to the Academy. The message had indicated that he would be welcome back, after all. On the other hand, Starscream wasn't sure he could return there; not on his own, anyway. Too many memories were there, and he didn't think he could face them alone. Oh, he had his few friends there, but deep down, the tetrajet felt neither they nor his work would be enough to distract him for very long.

And if the rebellion grew, he'd probably have to take part in it anyway, whether on the Senate side or this gladiator's.

Starscream growled once more as no other options presented themselves. Some choices. Either lose myself in possible fighting and risk turning into a monster, or go back to the Academy and try to keep going and still probably get involved in the fighting.

Things seemed so much easier when he and Skyfire had been exploring. At least then...

Starscream stopped dead in his tracks as a thought suddenly occurred to him.

Perhaps...perhaps there was one last option.

But should he take it?

His gaze wandered the room for a moment. It was a sparse room, with not much in the way of decoration or furniture, as he and Skyfire spent so little time here, but on one shelf sat a vid-image, one taken of he and Skyfire at their graduation ceremony, at a time when they'd felt ready to challenge the world.

Starscream stared at that image for several kliks, pondering his last option as he did so.

Finally, he bowed his head.

He knew what he had to do.