I’ve been a Transformers fan since it first showed up in New Zealand, and yeah, New Zealand is a tad behind the times, but we got Transformers, and we got it in the same year as pretty much everyone else. I’m almost 21 years old, and I’m female. A chick. A broad. A femme. I’ve had to put up with being mistaken for a guy. Having people ask me if I was a lesbian. Being labelled with the term ‘loser’ simply because I enjoyed a cartoon, created in the 80s, for boys. Well, I’m not a guy, I’m certainly not gay, and I don’t care if people think I’m a loser or not, because I’m not going to adhere to anyone else’s standards of popularity or life value except my own. It amazes to see the vast majority of female transformer fans have had almost exactly the same experiences I have; being called gay, a loser, even being flamed for the fact that I could be a guy in disguise out for a cheap laugh. I wanted to try and branch the gaps, to write something that could perhaps help people, only if it was just one person. To shed, or try to shed the damnable formulae of a formal essay that was drilled into me by seventh form (senior) English teacher, because, there’s no real formal way you can write something like this.

For the majority of female Transformer fans, I have come to the realisation that at least once in our online lives we’ve been mistaken for a male. In fact, I take it as the highest complement to be mistaken for a guy, why? It means I’m obviously doing something right and not acting like a giggling Anime schoolgirl. Now, let me get one thing straight before I continue with my musings, I’m far from being some feminist out to further the misdirected notion of women’s rights, and I’m not some angry femme whose riled because she got called a guy on some board, I simply want to get some of my thoughts, experiences and observations out into the open for all to see, perhaps in a way for both male and female fans alike to have that valued insight into the minds and workings of us femmes.

When I first show up on a message board, I’m not one to announce my arrival with a post pointing out I’m a femme. I avoid that. I just like to slip in unnoticed and then slowly work my way up in relevant post count making friends and acquaintances along the way. It’s easier for all concerned. If someone starts a thread, “male or female?” or asks me directly, I may respond, but what’s the point. Who cares if I have two X chromosomes instead of just one, like our male counterparts? The point I’m trying to make is at first we should not try to get everyone’s attention by claiming we’re female. It’s the Internet, for Primus’ sake. If I say I’m 6 feet 4, blond, blue eyed, size D and leggy does that make it so, of course not. Does it really matter if we’re females; we’re only there to like Transformers. I guess the point I’m trying to make, is why bother wasting time pointing out we’re something. What would we have to gain if we announced our gender in a thread solely devoted to such a menial point? Seems to me that when some femme comes onto a board, starts up a big thread about being a femme, and then flaming everyone who questions their gender, or makes the mistake of referring to them as a guy that these girls are only after one thing, a guy and therein lies the whole crux of the issue. That’s what’s annoying, that’s what’s the deep-seated pain in the arse thing that I think is one of the causes that makes genuine female transformer fans hard to be believed for what they are, it’s those girls who see guys swanning over these amazing toys, debating tech specs and discussing what is the true origins of the Constructicons. A plan begins to formulate in the carnal part of their small brains, to get a guy, fake an interest in what guys like. So, we have a girl, who witnesses the behaviour of a bunch of male Transfans, so, they believe to themselves, that if they act like they know something about transformers, they’ll get attention.

I’ve witnessed a lot of femme behaviour on transformer boards, and I’ve come to the conclusion that female transformer fans fit into four groups. Group 1. The Real McCoy. Group 2. The Hunters. Group 3. The “girly” femme. Group 4. Size 24, (XXXL) Straight Jacket. Also, deserving a mention, the guys who pretend to be girls just for flaming, spamming or some kind of sick amusement purpose, but since they’re not really femmes they can’t be counted in the groupings. Now, I’m sure there are others, who don’t quite sit in these generalisations, but like I said before, this is what I have observed from my two years on Transformer Message Boards.

Let me now discuss the groups.

Group 1. The Real McCoy

I think I can add myself into this group, along with the vast majority of femmes, probably somewhere in the numbers of 80 - 90% of the Fandom’s female population. We were those who didn’t quite fit in with the accepted norm for little girls growing up in the 80s. Sure, we may have played with dolls, but we probably would have used them as hostages, imaginary laser fodder… or, as a good Catholic schoolgirl, I crucified mine. We were the girls who didn’t like skirts and if we found ourselves in one, you’d be guaranteed by the end of the day it’d be bloodied, muddied, ripped to shreds or a grisly combination of all three. The type of girl who didn’t take crap from anyone, particularly the ‘prissy’ girls in the schoolyard.

Now, as the good deal of us are all grown up, we still don’t take crap from anyone, and I’m proud to say, that of all the members of this group I’ve met, they are all a great credit to the Fandom that is Transformers. These girls are awesome, they’re incredibly funny, easy going, great to be around (the net that is), know what they’re talking when it comes to the creation matrix, sparks and how much Wheelie sucks.

I’m not brown nosing here, but these girls aren’t just a credit to transformer Fandom, but to the female gender in general.

Group 2. The Hunters

The members in this group are probably the worst if you consider all the groups and their cons. They’re simply in it for the men. So to speak. They see an opportunity to bag a man and they take it. It’s like those bad chick flicks, where a woman meets a man who has absolutely nothing in common with her, hobby wise, so goes about learning everything she can about his particular interest, despite the fact she despises it, in order to make conversation with him over dinner. Now, why you can commend such actions in the movies, it simply seems cruel in the real world. A guy meets a girl who’s pretty, intelligent, to a certain degree and loves Transformers… or claims to. He can talk with her about why Optimus is a better leader then Rodimus and why Daniel and Wheelie should be fed to the Sharkticons. However, at the end of the day, this young man will be hurt when he learns he doesn’t really know, or have much in common with the girl he fell in love with. These girls not only give female Transfans a bad name, but females a bad name in general.

These girls also see the genuine female Transfan as an obstacle. They see us perhaps as another Hunter, like themselves, only feigning an interest in Transformers to get the guy. I like guys. I’m not gay, but I’m not into Transformers for the guys. I’m in it for the Transformers.

Group 3. The ‘girly’ Femme

I’ve never been one to apologise for my opinions, and if I think something sucks I will a. not read it, or b. if I did fall for it and did read it and I thought it sucked, then I will say so. So what’s the ‘Girly’ Femme, you ask. They’re the individuals who make me cringe, who I feel embarrassed for on their behalf. They’re the ones who take a perfectly good hard-core bad arse character, say, Megatron, and turn him into a milk and cookies pansy. They put romance into a fan fiction. Now here’s my opinion on romantic fan fiction. If that’s your thing, fine, good for you, but me, as a person, would like at least a 50% violence factor, coupled with at least a 20% plot and a 20% character development, leaving 10% for whatever else the writer deems necessary to throw in. If a writer wants to make a femme pregnant, go ahead, knock yourself out, but do it in a way that it’s realistic, I hate having to read something and try and put in my own scientific reasoning behind it. If I have to read something, it had better be good and not some romp through the botanical gardens with kissing and merriment for all. Now, I do have a point to those ramblings, Transformers has always been considered a ‘guy’ thing, hence one of the reasons I like it. As such, it has it’s usual guy things, violence, interesting if not a little inconspicuous cussing, cars, robots et cetera… no room for little ole’ Elite sitting at home by the fire place with a kitty on her lap, sobbing over a picture of Optimus Prime. If a writer wants to devote an entire story to the relationship of Optimus Prime and Elite One, then they may do so, but my opinion it kind of feminizes the whole concept of Transformers, some of the stuff I’ve read is reminiscent of Mills and Boon… hmmm, Mills and Boon… Transformers… not the cross over I ever want to see, thank you very much.

Now, I’ll admit, that last paragraph makes me look like a bit of a misogynist; yet, I want to get people thinking. If you’re a girl, imagine for a minute you’re a guy. You like Transformers, you like giant transforming robots, you like fast cars, big trucks and kick arse planes, you like violence and you don’t care much for a plot, you hang out on a message board with a bunch of other guys who like said giant transforming robots, et cetera… suddenly, a girl comes onto the board, she tells you all about her day smelling flowers and hugging puppies, she directs you to a couple of links, saying it’s her story of Optimus Prime and Megatron. So you go, and lo and behold, it’s a story about Megs and Prime all right… although, it deals with the intimate relationship between the two, and the whole story is basically Megs and Prime having an emotional moment, which involves a lot of talk. I’m sorry, but no. I’m into Transformers because of the lack of emotional, romantic, soul searching rubbish that clogs the arteries of say, something like, Care Bears. My mum dragged me to see Care Bears once… I cried, not because of the story line, or that I was touched by the plight of those stuffed mongrels, or even the fact they wanted to bring love and happiness to little kids. No. I cried because I didn’t want to be there. I wanted to see Transformers. I wanted to get away from the horrors that I was being subjected to. I wanted to get away from the other little girls holding onto their damn teddy bears. You always remember the horrible moments of your life, the terrible things that happen across your life’s path. That’s what Carebears was to me, the black spot on my memory.

That’s why I’m not a particular fan of that group of females. I feel somewhat put out, it’s like they’ve invading Transformers, taking away the good ole fashioned violence and replacing it with love hearts and fluffy clouds. They’re just too female. It bothers me because I start theorising that they only got into Transformers because Optimus reminded them of their “Daddy”, Prowl reminded them of their over protective brother and Megatron reminded them of the meanie guy down the road who splashed them with water and when they grow up they want to be just like Elite One, pink included.

Group 4. Size 24, (XXXL) Straight Jacket

The girls in this group, I believe were once members of Group 3. They relish in the idea that the Transformers could be their own personal boyfriends if only they were real. They take things a bit too far. Kind of like how some fans draw their idols in disturbing positions. It’s hard to pinpoint how exactly they make the progressive step from group 3 to group 4, perhaps they started out at group 4, that thought is a scary prospect.

It’s hard to describe the actions of one of these individuals; you really have to see it for yourself. I have had experience with one such individual. A young girl whose entire reason for taking the particular job she said she had been because the Transformer of her affections was of that career. She flamed me for the simple fact she believed that I was the board ‘strumpet’ of course, she didn’t use the word ‘strumpet’ but another rather, harsh, word one that I won’t endeavour to type. This girl flamed anyone who questioned her gender, her description of herself, her opinion. If someone said that they simply didn’t like her favourite Transformer, they were flamed in the most crass of manners.

This individual, I believed, had underlying mental issues that needed and still need to be resolved, for her own benefit and the benefit, and perhaps safety of those around her.

My problem with this group, and I’m thankful it’s members are few and far between, is that they paint the female Transformer fan in a very, very bad light. They’re emotional instability, sickly ‘girlyness’ and inability to distinguish fiction from reality could lead male Transfans with a limited experience with their female counterparts to believe that those in this group are the norm. I personally don’t want to be labelled a nut case who only likes Transformers because I hope to one day marry Ultra Magnus and bare him many children.

We live in an age of overbearing political correctness and feminism, telling a bunch of guys that you’re a girl and doing it in a rather overbearing manner with the side comment ‘so you better watch what you say’, could make them feel uncomfortable, they’re guys. Guys talk about girls. They sometimes do it in a crass and rather uncivilised manner, but they’re guys! As female Transformer fans, we can’t expect them to be perfect gentlemen when we’re on the board. I don’t want them to stop having fun, and if talking about a woman’s bust is fun for them, then let them. Who are we, as female transformer fans, to dictate to the vast majority of our fandom’s population what they can and cannot talk about. If you as a femme don’t like reading about our male companions’ exploits, then don’t read their threads if it has a dubious title. They could even go as far as to avoid conversations that they think could offend your apparent delicate sensibilities, and as such, you will find yourself ostracised because they don’t want to talk to someone who they think will take offence at their every comment. It’s about finding the balance and understanding that the Fandom we are members of is dominated by guys, who as always, will be guys. Now, I’m not saying that we should just sit in the proverbial kitchen of Transformers, as it was, we can be every bit a part of this Fandom as the males, and we do play an important part, I’m just saying we need to be tactful in the way we handle ourselves because it’s how we deal with the issue of gender that shows the guys what Transformers really means to us. Making gender one of those issues that we don’t have to worry about, or care about shows us in a much more sophisticated light. It also ensures that any doubt cast upon our claims to a specific gender doesn’t happen. If we make a point to say we’re female at every possible moment, even going so far as to purposefully craft those moments, then they may think we are a guy, it’s not uncommon, there are guys who claim to be females, whatever motivation that spurs them, who knows? Moving beyond such primitive labels can only be beneficial for us. It’s been my experience, guys will respect you a lot more if you don’t throw a tantrum is they mention the word “boobies”. These guys are not our boyfriends, they’re not in any kind of one on one relationship, and so we don’t have to hold them to the same standards. Heck, Optimus Prime said “boobies”, if we can let him get away with saying that, then I think we can extend the same leniencies to our male friends. Plus, girls talk about guys, as much as we claim we don’t, we do, so lets not be hypocritical, lets have a little dignity, lets show the Fandom that we are valuable, that we aren’t hunters, or girly, or insane, that we are 100 % pure blooded Transformers fans.

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