Login
Lexicon
Transformers Fanfics, Essays, Author Interviews and More...! Established 1996!

Beastie Weasties by Joona_Palaste

[ - ]   Printer Table of Contents

- Text Size +

The two ships flew through space at dizzying speeds. They flew in a tight linear formation, that is to say one in front of the other. The course seemed to be largely dictated by the leading ship. "Faster! Faster!" cried one of the occupants of the ship in the lead, "We must escape from those reactionary warriors behind us! We will find some other party to join and then achieve true progress!"

"I am trying to go fassster", said another one, "but thisss ssship won't go much fassster. I tell you, even Jehova couldn't fly much fassster."

"Who's Jehova?" asked a third one. "Blasssphemer!" cried the second one, "do not sssay hisss name in vain!"

Things were just as hectic in the pursuing ship. "Ahoy there, maties", said one of the occupants, "we'll be catching those defectors before sundown, and then we'll keel-haul them for good, arrrrr."

"But, old chap", said another one, "I must point out that this jolly old ship hasn't got a keel, and how do you suppose you'll get sundown in space, eh mate? You must be off your rocker."

"No time for that, chum", said a third one, "it appears that the ship we're pursuing seems to be running out of fuel, and I declare we're about to do the same thing. I fear we may crash-land on some planet."

"Well tally-ho then!" shouted the second one.

Elsewhere, on a barren, rock-filled planet, two teams of semiorganic robots were fighting each other. "We will get that Golden Disk yet, Maximals!" cried one robot, who seemed to be on the losing side in this battle.

"Over our dead bodies, Megatron!" the other robot shouted back. He flung his gorilla-like arms at the one named Megatron, which knocked him a few metres backward.

A feline beast popped his head near the gorilla-like robot. "Can I shoot him, Optimus? Huh? Can I?"

"Easy, Cheetor", answered Optimus, "of course you can shoot him!"

"Grrreat!" shouted Cheetor, "Cheetor! Maximise!" And with that, he transformed into robot mode, picked up his gun, and fired at Megatron.

Megatron's lizard scales absorbed the energy of the shots, but they were enough to drive him backward. "Predacons! Retreat!" he shouted.

"Wazzzpinator never retreatzzz!" buzzed a large wasp to his right.

Megatron growled and bared his teeth at the wasp.

"But Wazzzpinator izzz eager to try new tacticzzz", replied the wasp, "zzzuch azzz returning to the bazzze!" With that, all five Predacons hurried back to their military base.

"Well, that was a good show, wasn't it?" asked Cheetor, transforming back to cheetah mode.

"Well, yes", replied Optimus Primal, "we have driven the Predacons back for this day. Now we can ponder about our tactics tomorrow."

As Optimus Primal and Cheetor were chatting, another Maximal suddenly made himself heard. "No time for chit-chat, big bot!" he said, pointing to the sky, "Looks like we've got company!"

"I'll go take a look!" said Cheetor, zooming off to the direction his friend, Rattrap, had pointed in.

"No, Cheetor, wait", said Optimus Primal, "it's... well, never mind." He saw that Cheetor was already hundreds of metres away and his gorilla form wouldn't catch up with him in time to warn him about anything.

The two ships crashed onto the ground in two separate places. Those inside the pursuing ship clambered out first.

"Thar she blows!" yelled one of them, pointing to the wreck of the ship they had been pursuing.

"She blows, all right", replied another, "she seems currently to be blowing smoke!"

"Ah, now there's something funny", replied a third one, "we are indeed quite amused." The four robots inside the shuttle stood up and looked around.

"Well, one thing is for sure", said one, "we've got to get a new travel agent!"

"But where are we exactly, old chap?" asked another. "I don't know", replied the first one, "but look, we've got a welcoming committee!" He pointed to the creature in the distance, coming closer to them all the time.

Cheetor had reached the landing site of the first spaceship. When he got close enough, he said: "Cheetor! Maximise!" and transformed into robot mode. "Hello", he introduced himself, "I am Cheetor of the Maximals."

The four robots saw him and introduced themselves too. "I be called Longtooth, the greatest Maximal ever to sail the seven seas! Arrr!", said the first one.

"And my name is Superclaw", said the second one.

"Hmm, what an odd name", said Cheetor.

"Yours isn't so hot either", replied Superclaw.

"Hullo, sir", said the third robot, "we are the third and fourth Maximals on this ship, Chestor and Lion-El. Don't worry about these two other geezers, they're quite daft, you know."

"Well", said Cheetor, "welcome aboard, but I must warn you that due to the strong energy fields here you'd better remain in beast mode. What modes have you got, anyway?"

"Just watch, me lad", said Longtooth, transforming into a walrus. Superclaw followed next by transforming into a bear. Chestor transformed into a unicorn and Lion-El into a lion. "Well, I'd better take you to see Optimus Primal and the other guys now", said Cheetor, "follow me." And so the five of them went off on their way to the Maximal Headquarters.

The Predacons had been on their way to their Headquarters when they had seen the second ship crash onto the planet.

"We'd better take a look, eh, boss?" asked Scorponok.

"Yes", said Megatron, "and don't call me boss!"

"Sorry, boss", said Scorponok.

Since all of the Predacons were quite fleet-footed, it didn't take long of them to reach the shipwreck. Waspinator was there first. "Wazzzpinator! Terrorizzze!" he shouted, transforming into robot mode. Then he surmised the shipwreck and found robots inside it. "Bozzz, you'd better come take a look at thizzz!" he shouted to Megatron.

"Oh, all right, I'm coming, yes", said Megatron.

There were four robots coming out of the ship. One of them started talking with Megatron. "Greetings, comrade!" he said, "Take me to your leader!"

Megatron growled and bared his teeth at this stranger. "I AM the leader, yes", he said. "Oh, excellent", said the stranger, "the leader of whom?"

"The Predacons", answered Megatron. "Oh, even better", replied the stranger.

Another of the newcomer robots poked the previous speaker on the shoulder. "Boss, I dink dat we'd better transform into beast mode, becoz dere seems to be a whole lot of radiation here!"

"OK", replied the second one, and transformed into a great two-headed eagle. The other transformed into a menacing gorilla.

"Wait a sec here", said Scorponok, "aren't those warm-blooded animals? They've Maximals! Kill them! Scorponok! Terr..."

He was cut short by the eagle, who said: "We WERE Maximals once, but now we have left their reactionary ranks to seek new life in a more progressive party! Such as the Predacons! My name is Steelbeak, and this is my stupid assistant."

"Um, just like da boid said", said the gorilla, "I'm the stupid assistant, people call me Moicinatron."

"Shouldn't that be Mercenatron?" asked Megatron. "Yes, yes, Moicinatron, just like I said", replied Moicinatron.

Now that the Maximal defectors had been introduced, the other two new robots came forward to Megatron and his party. They wasted no time transforming into a scaly lizard and a slithering python snake. "Buongiorno, amici", said the lizard, "I am don Godlizard, the head of our... organisation. We have taken these two Maximal defectors as initiates by making them an offer they can't refuse." "Hello, ladiesss and Brucesss", said the snake.

Megatron moved his great snout a little closer to him. "Let me guess. You're called Monty, right, yes?"

"How did you guesss?" asked Monty, then after a while he said, "Ssso you must have heard of me before! Sssay no more! Sssay no more!"

"Yep, that's about right, in a way", said Megatron. "Now that that's finished", said Tarantulas, who'd been silent all the time, "shouldn't we be getting back to our base?"

"Yes", said Megatron, "come with me." So then all nine Predacons got on their way to Megatron's base.

Night came and went on the mysterious planet the Maximals and the Predacons had been stranded on. In the Maximal Headquarters, the nine Maximals had just woken up and were stretching themselves to better focus on life.

"Arr, that was a good night", said Longtooth, "I slept better than I have ever slept on land."

Rattrap turned to face him, yawning. "That is probably true, Toothy", he said, "but there's one thing I've always wondered: just WHY do we need to sleep? Our Cybertronian ancestors certainly didn't."

"The name's Longtooth", replied Longtooth, "and I think that our need to sleep be a side effect from having these beast modes. Them animals sleep too, don't they?"

"Yes, that is probably right, Toothy", replied Rattrap and went to see the other Maximals. Sighing, Longtooth resumed his own duties.

Chestor and Lion-El had also woken up. "I say, jolly good morning, chaps", said Chestor cheerfully, "what shall we do now?"

"Hmm, I seem to remember you had some business about pursuing those Predacons", said Cheetor, who had become interested in the conversation.

"Splendid, old cat", said Chestor, "I think that's exactly what we're going to do. Come on, geezers, we're going on a Predacon hunt! Pip pip!"

No sooner said than done. Optimus Primal divided the Maximal team up in the way he saw best: Rhinox and Dinobot remained in the Headquarters, while the other seven went out to see what was happening on the crash site of the Predacon ship.

"One word of caution, though", said Optimus Primal, "we need to be in beast mode most of the time so we won't be harmed by the intense energy radiation." He transformed to gorilla mode to demonstrate his point.

"Sure, big bot, whatever you say", said Rattrap, transforming to rat mode. "Hey, Cheetor, you coming?" he said to Cheetor, already scurrying away from the base.

"Of course!" shouted Cheetor. He transformed to cheetah mode and quickly caught up with Rattrap. Optimus Primal tried to hold them off, but they were already out of hearing range when he shouted commands at them.

"Looks like they've gone to play cat and mouse", said Superclaw, waiting a bit before adding: "Get it? Cat? Mouse? Ah, never mind."

"Well, we can't just sit here", said Optimus Primal, "Maximals, transform and roll... er, move out!"

The four new Maximals also transformed to beast mode. Chestor and Lion-El were the first, because as a unicorn and a lion they were the fastest of the lot. Superclaw and Longtooth followed behind them, along with Optimus Primal.

In a short time, the seven Maximals had reached the wreck of the Predacon ship. Cheetor and Chestor searched the site for any Predacon activity. Soon they returned to their company, having found nothing unusual.

"Shiver me timbers, matey!" said Longtooth, "I could swear they be here nearby somewhere!"

"Well, you can't please everyone, narmean?" replied Chestor. The Maximals relaxed a little, but were still cautious towards Predacon dangers.

Suddenly everyone's attention was turned into one corner of the scenery as a snake-like creature tried its best to jump in front of them.

"Nobody move!" it shouted, "Thisss isss a Predacon invasssion!"

Most of the Maximals were completely flabbergasted, but soon Lion-El regained his alertness. "Oh, I didn't expect a Predacon invasion", he remarked.

"That'sss right! NOBODY expectsss a Predacon invasssion!" shouted the snake, adding, "Monty! Terrorissse!" and transforming into a Predacon robot warrior.

"Well, lads, I say we should attack this Predacon, eh?" asked Chestor.

"That is indeed a wise decision", said Optimus Primal, "Maximals! Attack!"

"Not so fast there, Maximals", said Megatron, stepping out from behind a rock formation (he was quite fond of this activity, though he didn't exactly know why), revealing five other Predacons.

"We walked straight into a Predacon trap!" whined Rattrap.

"Well, that's just prime", said Optimus Primal, apparently sarcastically.

After the obvious introductions had been carried out, Longtooth and Godlizard both commanded their legions to transform to robot mode. And that they did.

Moicenatron looked around himself, then focused on Optimus Primal. "Another gorilla?" he asked, "I'll moider ya!"

"'Moider'?" wondered Optimus Primal, knocking Moicenatron to the ground with his powerful front leg.

Steelbeak jumped into the air, transforming back into eagle mode. He swooped down on Chestor and Rattrap, who were discussing the correct strategy of attacking Predacons. Steelbeak's claws dug into Rattrap's fur, lifting him into the air.

"I have imprisoned an enemy collaborator!" shouted Steelbeak gleefully, "I will surely be rewarded when I take him to our leader!"

"Oh, rats", said Rattrap.

Meanwhile, thinking that the others could carry on just as well without them, Superclaw and Monty had retired to a more quiet spot, chatting with each other. "And then he sssaid, 'Lark'sss vomit?'" said Monty to Superclaw, sniggering.

"That was a good one", said Superclaw, "but did you hear the story about two tomatoes on the road?"

Seeing how Monty was collaborating with the enemy as well, Steelbeak was distracted long enough for Rattrap to shake himself free of his claws. Not volatile, he dropped straight towards what he hoped to be empty ground. Instead, he dropped straight onto Scorponok's head, knocking him unconscious.

Rattrap was about to take Scorponok prisoner, but Godlizard was quicker. "If you refuse to do business with us, Maximal", said Godlizard, "and are too stupid to refuse our protection, then I'm going to have take you as our prisoner." He pointed his gun straight at Rattrap's face.

"Where's that bloody Rattrap got himself into?" wondered Lion-El. Then he saw Rattrap standing helpless between Scorponok and Godlizard. "Lion-El to the rescue!" he shouted, transforming into lion mode and jumping between Scorponok and Godlizard, knocking Scorponok unconscious again. The distraction gave Rattrap time to transform into rat mode and retreat to Maximal lines.

Lion-El, however, wasn't so lucky. He had landed on his feet as he had hoped, but he was facing the wrong direction. Godlizard sneaked up from behind him and took him as his prisoner. "Maximals! I have your lion!" shouted Godlizard.

"Well, we have your gorilla", shouted Optimus Primal back, pointing to the motionless form of Moicenatron, guarded by Longtooth and Cheetor.

"This battle is apparently not making much progress", said Rattrap to Optimus Primal, "we'd better get home before the night."

"You're right, Rattrap", said Optimus Primal, "but not before we get Lion-El back."

On the Predacon side, Megatron was having similar thoughts. "We'd better fetch Moicenatron back and retreat to the base", he thought. "Maximals!" he shouted, "We'll trade our prisoner for yours!"

"We will?" asked Godlizard, confused.

"We will", replied Megatron. So the prisoners were swapped and a truce was declared for today. All Maximals and Predacons retreated back to their respective bases, so that they could survive the rest of the day.

Back in Maximal Headquarters, Optimus Primal addressed Longtooth, the leader of the new Maximals. "You did a pretty good job today on the field, despite all that stuff that happened later", he said. "Thanks", said Longtooth.

"So I've decided to take you in as a permanent part of our team", said Optimus Primal. "Jolly good show, old chap", said Chestor. And then they all went to their own quarters for the night.

The End