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oh please do continue this! it´s perfect!
(First off, I apologize in advance if this review doesn't have paragraphs. Hopefully it will, but just in case I mess up again....)
Nice formatting. I would have enjoyed more detail, especially in the opening scene, but sometimes it's really hard to 'start' a story. It was fun to read about all the different things that happened.
Now, I don't know if you want any writing advice, but I would encourage you to enrich your next story with more descriptions and detail. It's hard work to 'flesh out' a story, but this one has a promising amount of detail already. The way the character's actions are woven continuously through their conversations, especially. I liked that. It really adds to the flow of the story.
Also, consider having a proofreader check for typos, since spellcheck programs won't catch everything and it is easy to become 'blind' to mistakes after you've read something over several times. I'm seeing just a few minor errors, and it's a shame to let them detract from the story.
This isn't meant negatively in any way. It looks like a lot of effort went into this story and I had fun reading it.
Congratulations on finishing it, and keep up the good work.
Favorite line: "My war-what?" =)