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Reviews For Sunshine And Roses

Name: cai20160302 (Signed) · Date: 02/03/16 - 01:43 am · For Chapter: Sunshine And Roses
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Name: Kezarahk (Signed) · Date: 05/06/04 - 02:52 pm · For Chapter: Sunshine And Roses
This is a great read, touching and lovingly told, about two imperfect mechs who love each other more than life. Well done.


Name: Sirius (Signed) · Date: 02/12/03 - 09:16 am · For Chapter: Sunshine And Roses
I thought this was very moving, especially when Sunny said "I'll always love that molten red piece of slag, no matter what." That line actually made me cry a little.


Name: Angelwings (Signed) · Date: 07/11/03 - 04:15 pm · For Chapter: Sunshine And Roses
You already know i like this story. I like the twins.


Name: Jazz (Signed) · Date: 28/10/03 - 02:33 pm · For Chapter: Sunshine And Roses
Nice. As you may know, I'm a big fan of stories about the twins. This is certainly one of the better ones. Many stories have Sides as the one getting injured. This is a case where we get to see how Sideswipe copes when Sunstreaker is down. Grammar errors notwithstanding, a very good story.


Name: Anonymous (Signed) · Date: 28/10/03 - 10:10 am · For Chapter: Sunshine And Roses
As far as descriptive capability goes, you certainly have a knack, my friend; metaphors and similes abound, all well-crafted and executed fairly well. The title, too, strikes me as well-thought.

I must, however, frown a bit at the premise, among other things. The typical 'Character A says nasty thing to Character B. Character B gets into tragic circumstance; Character A regrets what he said profusely' plot is quite overdone as it is, and the fact that there actually are already quite a number of stories in which one Lambo is critically damaged and the other mourns him as is. I'd have to say that the story suffers a bit from that, among other problems; most of which are grammatical in nature.

The ending punctuation of a statement, for instance, should be *within* the quotation marks, as opposed to just outside them. Minor, but I found it slightly distracting. There were also many passages that seemed revised and polished, but just as many that felt as though they were skipped over altogether in the proofreading process -- many commas and typos springing up as a result.

It's not a bad story, by any means, no. It simply feels as though it was churned out a bit too quickly and without enough quality polish. With closer attention to dialogue and punctuation, I know you could come up with a whopper of a tale.



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